He Only Knew Pain
by Gaxuxa
Summary: It was then that he realised there was no place for kindness in this world ...OneShot


**He only knew pain**

He could see his parents fighting. They always did. He began to cry as his mother took out her wand to curse her own husband.

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He went to his first school. Hogwarts. He felt happy to leave his parents.

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He met a girl. She was really beautiful and kind to him. She had long shining red hair and big green eyes. He liked her. But he soon discovered he couldn't be involved with her. She was a mud-blood.

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He met four boys. One of them came from a very dark family. Friends of his mother. He hated these four boys. They made fun of his hair.

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He was alone. He had no friends. Nobody liked him. His four new enemies had made sure of that. He hated them more than ever.

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The pretty girl had spoken to him. Kindly. He liked her a lot. She was the only one who didn't seem to care about his hair. She had pretty hair yet she still didn't seem disgusted by his. She was nice to him. Nobody had ever been nice to him.

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He got a letter from his mother. She said she had problem with her boss. She told him she may disappear. Forever. She asked him to swear he will never approach a mud-blood and stay pure for the rest of his life. He promised.

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He went home for the holidays. His father greeted him happily. His mother did not look well. He wondered how his father could be so cheerful when she was in tears.

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He heard his father and mother screaming. He cried a little while thinking about the friendly girl from school. She had often spoken to him about her lovely parents. Everything was beautiful in her life. She even had beautiful hair.

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He went to see his parents when silence came. He was just in time to see his mother point her wand at his father as she yelled the curse. His father dropped dead on the floor. She had killed her husband.

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He did not move. His mother muttered another curse. A mark flew into the sky. The mark of her boss. He hated her.

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He did not tell the police when they asked him questions. His mother had ordered him to keep his mouth shut. He did. He was scared.

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He went back to Hogwarts. The death of his father had been in the newspaper. People whispered as he passed. They made fun of his family. It hurt too much. His father had been a good man.

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The pretty girl sat down next to him in potion class. He was pleased she had chosen him above all others. He liked her. He forgot his mother's words for a moment.

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His four enemies were not happy. One of them had a crush on the pretty girl.

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He had a lot of difficulties in class. He used to be a very clever boy but since the death of his father his brain no longer worked.

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The pretty girl helped him in potion. He marked all her words and advices in his book. Every page was scribbled with little words. His liking for her grew.

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His brain came back with the time. He started inventing spells. At first they were only little tricks to play on his four enemies but soon they became less innocent.

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His mother reminded him he mustn't hang out with mud-bloods. He had to stop talking to the pretty girl. He jeered at her and insulted her like all the Slytherings. It was clear she was disappointed in him. He felt sad. He still liked her.

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He guarded the habit of writing in his potion book all over the years. The pretty girl no longer sat beside him but he listened closely to her every word when her hand flew into the air. He loved the way her beautiful green eyes light up when she spoke about her passion.

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The pretty girl hated him all these years because he had listened to his mother. He hated himself and his mother too. He loved the pretty girl even more as she defended him from his worst enemies. But he called her mud-blood again and she insulted him too. He knew he had just lost her for ever.

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He got out of Hogwarts. Finally. He was happy. But his joy did not last long.

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His mother's boss spoke to him.

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He became a person's servant and he hated every minute of it. The mark on his arm burned his skin.

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He thought of the pretty girl. She would have been horrified to know her childhood's friend and enemy had turned into the servant of the most dangerous and powerful wizard in the world.

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His mother died. She had disobeyed the boss. Nobody ever disobeyed the Dark Lord's orders.

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He got a letter from the pretty girl. He was amazed she still remembered him. She was even kind to him. She said she wanted them to forget their childhood's stupidity. Now that his mother was dead, he would have liked to see her again and start a fresh new beginning in his life. Then he felt the mark on his arm and he knew he couldn't.

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He got a second letter from the girl he loved for eight years. She was getting married. To one of his four enemies. His heart was broken.

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He overheard a conversation between his old school's headmaster and a witch in a bar. The witch was talking about a prophecy. A prophecy about his boss. He wanted to hear more but the barman threw him out. He would not hear the rest of the prophecy.

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He told the Dark Lord about the prophecy.

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The Dark Lord was dead. At least that's what the newspapers had said. The Dark Lord had tried to kill a little baby but the spell had somehow back fired.

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He read the name of the baby. It was the pretty girl's baby. The pretty girl was dead.

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He decided to come back to the right side, to the pretty girl's side. He did not want to hurt anyone anymore. He thought of the pretty girl. He had loved her and now she was gone. Because of him. It was unbearable.

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He went back to Hogwarts and asked if he could work as a teacher. He wanted to be the Defence against the Dark Arts teacher but Dumbledore thought he would be better suited for potion. So he became the potion teacher. He thought of the pretty girl. If he had managed so easily in potion it was because of her.

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The pretty girl's son came to Hogwarts. The boy had his mother's green eyes but the stupidity of his father.

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He hated the pretty girl's son. But when he had the chance he saved the boy's life. He didn't want to play the hero. He simply remembered all the times the pretty girl had helped him and how he had betrayed her.

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He kept an eye on the pretty girl's son all these years. He sneered at him and took points of his house. The house where the pretty girl had been. But now she was gone like everything else he had loved.

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The Dark Lord was back. The pretty girl had died for nothing.

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Dumbledore asked him to help. He accepted only because he knew the pretty girl would have accepted. She had been nice to him. He would never forget that.

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He returned to the Dark Lord as a spy for Dumbledore. But his instinct took over and he became a servant again.

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He knew he had to choose. But he still didn't.

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The time went on. The Dark Lord's other servants didn't trust him. He knew he couldn't stay this way too long and he had to choose.

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The Dark Lord's servants had entered Hogwarts.

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His first thought was the pretty girl's son. But the boy was safe with Dumbledore.

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Dumbledore came back with the pretty girl's son.

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He walked into one of Hogwarts many rooms to find Dumbledore cornered by the other servants.

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He spotted two brooms on the floor. He knew the pretty girl's son was hiding somewhere. But he acted as if he hadn't noticed.

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The Dark Lord's servants were telling him to do it. To kill Dumbledore. He didn't want to. Dumbledore had been nice to him.

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It was then that he realised something. There was no place for kindness in this world. His father had been a kind man and he had been killed. The pretty girl had been a kind girl and she had been killed.

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He raised his wand.

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He knew there was no place for kindness. So he yelled the spell, his voice steady.

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He had killed the last person who had been nice to him.

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He had killed the world's greatest wizard.

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He had lived in pain.

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He decided to pass this pain to others.

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He lost his kind heart.

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He was Severus Snape.

* * *

**Author's note : I think Severus Snape was in love with Lily Evans and that is the real reason why he never killed Harry Potter and saved his life. But I may be wrong. **

**I'd love some reviews**


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